DISCLAIMER: This is a real application. We DO want you to answer, and we do want you to answer honestly. Copy and paste the following questions, answer them and electronically mail them to tiffanyfalyn@gmail.com. After an extensive review we will get back to you. If you re not comfortable with any of the below questions, it's okay. Type pass and move on to the next.
Feel free to add any important information you wish us to know...age, gender, race, hopes, dreams, failures, likes, dislikes, hates...give it to me raw.
Do you think Seinfeld is funny?
Would you rather color with crayons or colored pencils?
How do you feel about the use of marijuana for reasons other than medical?
How many prostitutes have you met?
If I was ridiculously drunk on the bathroom floor and told you to leave me alone would you:
a. leave me alone
b. draw on me with markers
c. sing me Spanish lullabies
d. sketch me
e. give me a rubber band, tell me to pull my hair back and make sure I didn't die in my own vomit
There is an one inch spider and a lightening bug on the same wall of my living room. You:
a) kill both
b)kill the spider
c) capture them both and release them outside
How many nights would I have to sleep over at your house before you stopped waiting on me and told me to fuck myself, that I know where the plates are?
Which is the correct spelling of this word: Every time I see hipsters, _____ doing something I want to punch them for.
A. Their
B. There
C. They're
What;s your zip code?
What's your favorite smell?
Love lost or never found?
How do you feel about Shirley Temple?
Would you be comfortable being immobile for an extended period of time to have a movie marathon?
If no, explain what you would rather do.
If yes, name 5 movies you would consecutively watch without anyone being annoyed of your choices.
Can you defend your religious/political point of view against someone with the opposite view without getting angry?
How do you feel about education?
Jesus fish or Darwin fish?
Walmart or Kroger?
Fast food or dinner party?
Reality television or Bogart marathon?
Is John Mayer a:
A. lyrical genius
B. Douche bag
C. Okay pop artist
D. The reason frat boys learn acoustic guitar
Natty ice or fine imports?
Downtown club or neighborhood bar?
Ihop or Waffle House?
If I texted you at 2 a.m. because I wanted fresco melt from Steak N' Shake and you weren't hungry would you:
A. Say nah, it's a school night
B. Say yes, order a Butterfinger milkshake, get it in a to go cup and put it in the freezer when you got home
C. Ignore my text, pretend like you were asleep, and text me back the next day and say "sorry I was sleeping lol"
D. none of the above
What Facebook applications do you use? If I added you would I find out that you were a dirty liar?
What is a baby dyke?
Speaking of baby dykes, how do you feel about political correctness?
What are your top three favorite websites?
Can I take photographs of you in compromising situations, post them to facebook and still have you be my friend? Better yet, will you laugh along?
Can I poke you? On facebook?
Will you be my friend no matter how much I talk about your views of facebook?
Is Sarah Marshall twat?
Do you donate to any charities? Who?
Are you stingy?
Could I ask you how much money you or your parents make without you getting antsy?
What is the one topic that you can talk about and feel intelligent about?
Would you try my suggestions to putting abnormal condiments on foods that don't need condiments?
Are you still answering all these questions?
How do you feel about me giving you daily updates of my leg hair growth? Will you give me props when I finally shave them? Perhaps a small gift?
Do you smoke cigarettes? If not, are you cool with my blowing my smoke in your face like you do?
Coffee or tea?
Are you musically inclined?
What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Would you allow me to use your rechargeable batteries for my sex toy?
